Rated 'PG'

By: Jana~

*****~*~*~*~*~*****

Songs by: Collin Raye*

Album: 'I Think About You'

Titles (in order they appear in this fanfic):

'One Boy, One Girl'

'I Volunteer'

'Not That Different'

'Love Remains'

'The Time Machine'

*****~*~*~*~*~*****

*****

--"Chandler!" Carol called to her friend… "What are you doing tomorrow night?"

"Well, I thought I'd count the holes in my ceiling after creating them by throwing pencils at it. Why?"

"I have a date for you!"

Chandler rolled his eyes and sighed… "Carol, I appreciate the thought, but I don't go in for blind dates."

"Yeah, I know… but, I think you'll really like her! She's my boyfriend's sister…"

"I'm sure she's great… really… but I'm just not interested…"

"You haven't had a date in months! C'mon! What'll it hurt?" she tried to convince him… "Just dinner! You have nothing else planned!"

Chandler waved at her to stop her from begging further… "Fine! Fine, I'll go already…"

"Thank you!" she hugged him… "You won't regret it! I promise!"

*****

--Chandler watched the door in the crowded restaurant, checking the time often… she was late. He was just about to give up and leave when the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen before walked in…

"Oh, that can't be her…" he whispered to himself… "Life isn't that good to me…"

She approached the hostess and after a few words were exchanged, she smiled, turning to face Chandler's table. When their eyes met, they froze, staring… It was like everyone in the restaurant disappeared and they were the only two people left in the world. She smiled nervously and approached slowly, her heart racing… his expression mirrored all she was feeling. Did he believe in love at first sight? Did she?

"Chandler?"

"Monica?"

She nodded and extended her hand… "I'm sorry I'm late…" she apologized… "I got caught in traffic."

"It's alright. I was just entertaining myself by playing pik-up-stiks with the breadsticks."

She chuckled at his joke, joining him at the table as he held the chair out for her.

--They talked over dinner… about family and school… about life's dreams… for hours…

"Can you believe we've been here talking for 3 hours?" Monica asked as she glanced at her watch…

"Really?" he smiled… "It doesn't feel like it…"

"I know!" she agreed… "You're so easy to talk to… I could stay here all night talking…"

"Well, why don't we continue this over coffee…" he suggested, his smile instantly warming her heart…

She smiled back… "I think that's a great idea…"

*****

--"I can't believe it!" Monica's friend Rachel exclaimed as she straightened Monica's dress… "I can't believe you're getting married!"

"I know! I can't believe we've been together 3 years!" Monica replied, looking at her reflection in the mirror…

"Has it been that long?" Phoebe, Monica's other best friend and bridesmaid asked…

Monica nodded, then took a deep breath… "This is it. I'm getting married." She told her reflection, a nervous smile soon following…

--"This is it, man…" Joey, Chandler's best friend stated as he picked a bit of lint off Chandler's tux…

"Yep. I know." Chandler smiled, his anxiety obvious…

"Dude, you look like you're gonna hurl!"

"I'm nervous… but I've never wanted anything more in my life…"

"Hey!" Ross, Monica's brother and Chandler's friend walked into the room… "They're ready for you."

"Thanks Ross."

"I just want you to know…" Ross added, patting Chandler on the back… "I'm really glad you're marrying my little sister. I've never seen her so happy… and I know you two will be very happy together."

They hugged before heading for the chapel.

--Chandler and Monica stood at the front of the church, all their friends and family in attendance. They stared at each other intently, smiling, everything being said and going on around them seeming a million miles away. They repeated the vows on the preachers prompt, then exchanged rings, sealing their unity forever.

"Son…" the preacher said softly… "Kiss your bride…"

He smiled before raising her veil, then kissed her tenderly, bringing tears to her eyes. He cupped her face and wiped her tears from her cheek with his thumb before leaning in and kissing her again. Like the night they met, time seemed to stand still.

*****

--"Honey? You ready? The appointment is at 3!" Monica called to Chandler as she threw her coat on…

"Yep! Be right there!" he called back, appearing a moment later. "So, this is the picture appointment, right?"

"The sonogram…" Monica corrected… "Yeah…"

"Ok. So, do we want to know if it's a boy or girl?"

"I kinda do, but kinda don't. What do you think?"

"I think we should find out!" Chandler exclaimed… "That way, we can get started on the baby's room!"

"Yeah…" she agreed… "Good point."

--The ultrasound tech grew eerily quiet as she moved the wand about Monica's abdomen…

"Is something wrong?" Monica asked, becoming worried…

"No…" the tech answered softly, continuing to look very intently at the monitor…

"Well, you look… intense…" Chandler interjected, hoping to get some conversation from her about what she was seeing that had her so obviously perplexed…

She looked up at him and offered a small, reassuring smile… "Not to worry…" she told him… "I'm just gonna go get the doctor…"

When the tech left the room, Monica started to cry…

"Something's wrong!"

"Nothing's wrong, Mon… she's just… she needs the doctor to look cause she doesn't get it or something. Don't panic…"

"Too late."

The doctor walked in and smiled, immediately taking the wand in hand… "Well, let's see what we have here…" he said cheerfully, which helped to put Monica and Chandler at ease. He watched the screen, looking intently, but not nearly as much as the tech had minutes before…

"Is something wrong with our baby?" Monica asked, nervousness to her voice…

"No!" the doctor assured her… "Not at all…"

"Then…" Chandler spoke up… "What is it?"

The doctor looked up, smiling… "Congratulations. Twins."

Shocked expressions made their way into smiles as that piece of news sank in…

"Twins?" Chandler whispered… "As in 2 babies?"

"That's right Daddy." The doctor confirmed…

"Are you freaking?" Monica asked timidly…

"No. Of course not! This is great!" Chandler announced, kissing her softly…

She smiled… "Really?"

He smiled in return, reassuring her… "Really."

*****

*****

*****

--"Hey! You're home!" Monica stated excitedly as soon as Chandler walked through the door…

"Yeah. Home." His tone of voice immediately spoke of how upset he was…

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing that a 'Doug-ectomy' wouldn't solve." He replied bitterly, kissing her more out of obligation than affection…

"I'm sorry…" she apologized… "Want a back rub or something?"

"No…" he snipped… then caught himself and offered a small smile… "No, thank you…"

"K."

"Where are the girls?"

"At Aunt Phoebe's…"

"Why?"

"Cause I wanted some alone time with you…"

"Oh, honey, I just want to eat and pass out…"

"I don't mean that…" she corrected him… "I just meant… maybe we could talk for a bit…"

"About?"

"About whatever's been bothering you lately…"

He sighed as he plopped down on the couch… "It's nothing…"

"It's not nothing. You've been walking around with a little black rain cloud over your head for months now." She sat beside him, placing her hand on his thigh… "You shouldn't keep things bottled up. You're not alone here y'know…"

"I know. I just didn't want to… burden you…"

"It's not a burden! I'm your wife! That's what I'm here for!"

"I didn't want to ask…"

"For help?" she verified… he nodded. "You aren't…" she assured him… "I'm volunteering."

"What did I do to deserve you?"

"I ask myself that very question often." she replied… "Chandler, how many times have you offered me a shoulder to cry on? A caring voice letting me know everything would be ok? How many times have you wrapped your arms around, comforting me when I was afraid?"

He smiled and brushed his thumb across her cheek…

"I can return the favor…" she whispered… "I want to return the favor."

Chandler leaned in and kissed her… sweetly and appreciatively at first, then with growing passion. When he pulled back, Monica couldn't mistake the desire dancing in his eyes. She stood, taking him by the hand, leading him to the bedroom.

They made love, then talked… then made love and talked some more. For hours. Chandler decided… job stress wasn't anything he couldn't handle… as long as Monica was by his side…

*****

--Years of marriage had come to frustrate Monica. She had thought this was what she had always wanted, but lately… she just wasn't happy. She wanted to be. She tried to make herself feel happy… but she just couldn't get past the feeling that there was much she'd given up when she married Chandler. Maybe it was in part because Carol spoke up after 7 years of marriage… coming out of the closet and admitting she was a lesbian. That got Monica thinking… not about being gay… she knew she was straight… but about how she never really pictured herself married to a man like Chandler. He was wonderful… she admitted that easily… but he just wasn't… what? Mysterious? Exotic? She had to tell him. She paced nervously… waiting for him to come home from work. When he did, offering her the smile he always offered, she almost backed out. She shook her head, determined to tell him. After a deep breath and Chandler's inquiry, she began…

--"Chandler… I love you. I do. But, I think I need to get away for a while…"

"Get away?"

"Yes. I just…" she hesitated, trying to find the words… "We're just… we're too different. It's like we're from two separate worlds sometimes…"

Chandler's face grew pale… "What are you saying? Are you saying you want a divorce?"

"I don't know… maybe. I don't know what I want right now… I just know that I'm feeling… trapped. I can't explain it. We're just… too different…"

"We're not that different…" he told her, somewhat defensively… "We might have differences, but we have a bond! Strong enough to overcome any differences!"

She sighed and placed her face in her hands… he wasn't going to make this easy…

"Look into your heart, Monica. Look into your soul. The person there is not so unlike me." He took a step towards her… "We both laugh. We both love… hurt… need… cry…" Just saying the word 'cry' got them both going, and he reached for her, desperate for the contact, but she pulled away.

If he touched her, she knew she wouldn't able to leave. He had a point, and she couldn't argue with it, so she didn't even try, but she couldn't stop what she was feeling any longer. She had to get out... had to see if the pastures were really greener on the other side. She would regret it the rest of her life if she didn't...

"I'm sorry…" she whispered…

"What about the girls?"

"I don't want to uproot them. They should stay here. I'll come visit…"

"Don't do this, Monica. Please."

"I have to."

She grabbed the bag she'd already packed and walked out the door, not daring to look back as Chandler slumped to the ground.

--They worked out a system for Monica to see the twins. While Chandler was at work, Phoebe, Rachel, Ross, or Joey would watch them… after school… and Monica would go by then. Her brother and friends would bombard her with questions about what she was doing… telling her that Chandler was lost without her. Truth was, she was feeling lost without him too. She started to question herself… why did she leave? What did she expect to find? Whatever the reason… whatever she hoped to find… none of it mattered anymore. She wondered if he would take her back. She wondered if she should even ask. She made her bed, now she was left to lie in it… alone.

--Chandler had just finished putting the girls down to sleep when there was a knock at the door. He opened the door…

"Monica…" he whispered… shocked to see her.

She said nothing as she stared at him, tears threatening to fall…

"What's wrong?" he asked sympathetically… and his tone of voice was all it took for the tears to splash down to the floor…

"We're really not that different…" she finally managed to say, her voice barely above a whisper… "I laugh, I love, I hurt…" a little sob escaped her… "I cry…"

He took her into his arms and held her tight, his own tears now falling.

"I was stupid…" she choked out, her face buried in his chest… "So stupid. Please…" she caught her breath before continuing… "I know I don't have the right to ask… but can you ever forgive me?"

"I would forgive you anything, Monica. I love you."

"I love you too." She reached up and kissed him passionately, the familiar sensation of his touch and kiss causing her to reel. She was home… and she would never leave it again.

*****

--Chandler sat numb as the preacher talked about his beloved Monica. It didn't seem real. It seemed like only yesterday that they got married… now she was gone.

"We are all born one fine day." The preacher stated… "Children of God, on our way with Mommy and Daddy's help. They protect us and love us… till we're old enough to move on. Get married. Start a family of our own. That's what Monica and Chandler did. With tears and sweat they built a home… and raised 2 beautiful girls with love and unity. They shared joy, and they shared pain… and now, with Monica's passing, Chandler is left alone. He's hurting… wondering why she had to die. We don't always know the reasons why our loved ones pass away, but one thing remains when they do. Love. Problems come and go… time seems so short… before you know it, the future is the past. And in spite of what's been lost to what's been gained… through it all… one thing remains. Love. We all live and we all die, but the end is not goodbye. The sun will still rise, the seasons will still change… and through it all… love remains. It's like an eternal burning flame. With all the sadness and grief that you are now faced with… that one thing remains. Love."

--His words might have well been in a foreign language. All Chandler wanted to do is crawl into that casket and die along side her. No words of comfort would bring her back… and that was the bottom line. He didn't want to feel better about her passing… he wanted her back. After the service… after everyone was done saying their last good-byes, Chandler approached her casket. He reached out and touched it, almost gingerly…

"I don't know what I'm going to do without you, Mon." he whispered… "I honestly don't. You are my life. Were my life. I mean, I know we all have to go sometime… but I wasn't ready to say goodbye." He broke down sobbing and Ross and Joey quickly moved to his side, helping him off the ground and to the car. Rachel and Phoebe could only cry as they watched their dear friend sob over his loss. They lost a dear friend, but Chandler lost his wife, best friend, soul mate.

*****

--"I'm worried about Chandler…" Rachel told the group as they sat around at Central Perk… "It's been months and he's showing no signs of improving."

"He comes home drunk every night…" Joey interjected… "And I mean really drunk."

Ross sighed… "He just doesn't care anymore. He'd rather drink himself to death then live without her."

--Chandler sat on the stool at the bar, on his 5^th drink, knowing it would take far more to get to where he was going. He was nervous, sure, but he was tired of the lonely… and nothing was gonna cure that. Better to just slip away. Back to yesterday… back to her. Drink after drink brought him closer to her… and after hours at that bar stool… he found her.

--They rushed him to the hospital. They pumped his stomach. They did everything they could for him… but it was too late. He didn't want to be revived… he wanted to stay dead… stay with his Monica… and that's just what he did.

--"We shoulda saw it coming!" Rachel lamented as they left the funeral…

"We did…" Joey replied… "But there wasn't anything any of us coulda done. He just… gave up…"

"At least he's with her now… where he wanted to be…" Phoebe added softly as she wiped her tears… "Finally happy again…"

"I hope he is, Phoebe…" Ross whispered… "I hope he is…"

**Author's Note**

I don't own Collin Raye or any of his music. No rights implied… I just like the songs, so I wrote a story with them included. Nothing more, nothing less.